The top 10 ways to waste your time

ways to waste your time

We all know that our time is limited and we should put our precious time to good use. So, why are we not doing that? Why are we wasting so much of our time doing things we don’t like, that don’t help us, being frustrated and angry? I think one reason is because we’re afraid to go after our dreams. We are too afraid to fail. ‘Yeah, I could spend this evening taking the first step in making my dream come true (setting up your own business, planning a world trip, learning to play the guitar, etc.). Or… I could just watch TV, there’s a rather good show tonight. Yeah, let’s do that, I’ll take that first step tomorrow’. Of …

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How to regain my sexual desire?

fixing my sexual desire

Last week, I wrote an article about how I had lost my way in sex. Things had become too complex, too many rules to follow, and the expectations I set for myself were too high. I was stuck. Funny enough, it felt terrible mostly before I accepted that. Afterwards, I felt mostly relief and a strong urge to find out how to regain my sexual desire. In this article, I will share what has helped me so far. First of all, sexuality is a topic I’ve been exploring a lot over the last two years. What I felt was that many of us, me included, often lost ourselves in a race towards sex. Sex was the goal in the game of intimacy …

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I’ve lost my way in sex

lost my way in sex

I remember sex as being something light, something playful. But somewhere along the way, it became complex, weird, and uneasy for me. I feel inadequate; it feels like hard work, like I’ve lost my edge. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I’ve lost my way in sex, and in a way, believe it or not, that is a good thing. For me, sex is essentially about having fun, about connecting, exploring, finding out how someone ticks, how the two (or more) of you connect. Sometimes about diving in an ocean of love, going under together. Other times, about letting your tiger come out to play, to snarl, devour, dominate and surrender. Hunting, biting, scratching, all in good fun. I was …

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The Key to True Happiness

key to true happiness

The other day, I was driving to the supermarket with my youngest daughter, aged three. On the way, there is a slight decent as the road crosses under the railway. To me, that’s just something that happens, nothing special. To her, it’s a completely different story. So, we were driving to the store, started going downhill and she immediately threw her arms up, stretched her legs and cried out of pure joy: “Wheeeee!”.  Her happiness was so contagious that I joined her on the way up, throwing my arms up and shouting out. It felt wonderful! Most times, expressing emotions feels like the complete opposite for me. Something happens, for instance, I take a bite of a mango with a magnificent …

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To you, my brother

To you, my brother

For years, I’ve neglected you, merely tolerated you, seen you as competition. Your strength made me feel inadequate and your weakness made me feel strong in comparison. When you connected with a girl, I felt jealous; it felt like I had lost something, even when I had never spoken to her, or liked her in the first place. I avoided you because you made me feel uncomfortable. Interacting this way with you, my brother, made me feel weak, alone and I compensated by seeking validation from others, mostly women. Seeking this approval didn’t help me, I know see it led me further from my core. Lately, I’ve started to see your value. For the first time in my life, I …

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Can you be intimate without being sexual?

Most people love to touch the ones they are fond of. At the same time, touching others is often shrouded in anxiety: what if I do something wrong, go too far, or inadvertently touch the ‘wrong’ body part? Because of this anxiety to touch someone in the wrong way, or be touched in the wrong way, many of us chicken out and refrain from touching at all, especially in the Western world. We distance ourselves from others, barely touching, only when it cannot be avoided. The effect is that many feel alone, cut off from others. Is there another way? Can you be intimate without being sexual and reclaim touching, intimacy, in such a way that it serves us instead of …

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Starting your own business – Calculate how much money you can make on your own

Calculate how much money you can make on your own

Many people are thinking about starting on their own and making their own money. They have an ambition, a dream, or just want to step out of the treadmill of jobs and bosses. I believe that’s wonderful! Starting on your own is always challenging and exciting, who knows what will happen? It is very hard to predict whether something you start will become a success. Some of my own plans which I believed to become the next big thing didn’t do squat, whereas others, like cuddle workshops, turned out to be much more popular that I’d ever expected. So, before you get started you want to calculate how much money you can make on your own. There are thousands of …

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How to spoon – the art of sleeping together

how to spoon

There, I said it. Chances are that I’d like to sleep with you. I have some standards about liking people, them being friendly, warm, hygienic, cuddly, and some more personal preferences like age and body shape, but in general, I’m quite easy. I just like to sleep with people and I’m no longer ashamed to say so. And by the way, just to be clear, when I say sleep, I actually mean to sleep. In sex, I’m much more picky. The taboo on spooning Just like with cuddling, there seems to be a taboo on spooning outside of a relationship. Most people I know love to cuddle up to someone they like and fall asleep, but how do you go about telling so? …

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Learning to connect without trying – the value of feeling lost

connect without trying

Since a month, a lot has been happening in my life. So much that I had trouble writing about it. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t get my mind around it. Where to start, what to tell, what is the message? Often, I like to write about a concept I’m starting to understand, but this time, there was no understanding. I was totally lost. Do you know the feeling of not knowing how to proceed? Knowing that whatever you believed was right, turned out to be not working and knowing you have to abandon the old way, without sight of a new, better way. Well, that was my position a few weeks ago. Everything I thought I knew about relating …

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My first psychedelic experience

My first psychedelic experience

Last week, I had my first psychedelic experience, after taking a hallucinating drug. It was quite a milestone for me, as I used to have negative associations with drugs; being afraid of becoming addicted and being afraid of losing control. I know that many people have strong opinions on drugs; therefore I decided to openly share with you my story of why I took them and what happened to me. Please, be aware that this article was not written to encourage to or discourage anyone from taking drugs, just to tell you about why I decided to try it and what it has done for me. My relation with drugs For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid …

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