The top 10 ways to waste your time

ways to waste your time

We all know that our time is limited and we should put our precious time to good use. So, why are we not doing that? Why are we wasting so much of our time doing things we don’t like, that don’t help us, being frustrated and angry? I think one reason is because we’re afraid to go after our dreams. We are too afraid to fail. ‘Yeah, I could spend this evening taking the first step in making my dream come true (setting up your own business, planning a world trip, learning to play the guitar, etc.). Or… I could just watch TV, there’s a rather good show tonight. Yeah, let’s do that, I’ll take that first step tomorrow’. Of …

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The Key to True Happiness

key to true happiness

The other day, I was driving to the supermarket with my youngest daughter, aged three. On the way, there is a slight decent as the road crosses under the railway. To me, that’s just something that happens, nothing special. To her, it’s a completely different story. So, we were driving to the store, started going downhill and she immediately threw her arms up, stretched her legs and cried out of pure joy: “Wheeeee!”.  Her happiness was so contagious that I joined her on the way up, throwing my arms up and shouting out. It felt wonderful! Most times, expressing emotions feels like the complete opposite for me. Something happens, for instance, I take a bite of a mango with a magnificent …

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To you, my brother

To you, my brother

For years, I’ve neglected you, merely tolerated you, seen you as competition. Your strength made me feel inadequate and your weakness made me feel strong in comparison. When you connected with a girl, I felt jealous; it felt like I had lost something, even when I had never spoken to her, or liked her in the first place. I avoided you because you made me feel uncomfortable. Interacting this way with you, my brother, made me feel weak, alone and I compensated by seeking validation from others, mostly women. Seeking this approval didn’t help me, I know see it led me further from my core. Lately, I’ve started to see your value. For the first time in my life, I …

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Learning to connect without trying – the value of feeling lost

connect without trying

Since a month, a lot has been happening in my life. So much that I had trouble writing about it. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t get my mind around it. Where to start, what to tell, what is the message? Often, I like to write about a concept I’m starting to understand, but this time, there was no understanding. I was totally lost. Do you know the feeling of not knowing how to proceed? Knowing that whatever you believed was right, turned out to be not working and knowing you have to abandon the old way, without sight of a new, better way. Well, that was my position a few weeks ago. Everything I thought I knew about relating …

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My first psychedelic experience

My first psychedelic experience

Last week, I had my first psychedelic experience, after taking a hallucinating drug. It was quite a milestone for me, as I used to have negative associations with drugs; being afraid of becoming addicted and being afraid of losing control. I know that many people have strong opinions on drugs; therefore I decided to openly share with you my story of why I took them and what happened to me. Please, be aware that this article was not written to encourage to or discourage anyone from taking drugs, just to tell you about why I decided to try it and what it has done for me. My relation with drugs For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid …

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Connecting with people: going all in

connecting with people

Sometimes you reach a breaking point; the moment you feel that what you’re doing is not working. I feel a breaking point at this moment in how I connect (or fail to connect) with others. It feels like everyone knows how to connect; how to bond, how to form a connection and to expand on it. For me, it feels like I’ve been trying and it doesn’t work. I feel stuck. For sure, I was missing something in connecting with people, and I couldn´t quite grasp what it is. Feeling lost is a great place to be For quite some time, I felt I wanted to form stronger connections with people. At the same time, I didn’t know how. It …

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How to live your own life, the pirate’s way!

How to live your own life

The life of a pirate: full of adventures, side to side with daring explorers, treading unexplored ground, how exciting! Unfortunately, most people don’t dare to take such a drastic approach to life. They trod through life, today a copy of the day before, instead of following their dreams. The good news is that if you dare to live up to your full potential, are willing to find out how to live your own life, you are in for a treat! Starting on this path was probably the best decision of my life. If you want to learn about the characteristics of the proud pirate, how they live and what distinguishes them from other people, read more about following the way …

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The Way of the Pirate

The way of the pirate

Life offers a choice: how do you want to live? Will you simply live the life others expect you to live? Or are you willing to be different, to be wrong, to fail, to succeed, to be you? This is the way of the pirate. It is a risky venture; you might end up without a job, facing your worst fears, losing the friends who choose to judge you… and still be happier than ever before. The way of the pirate is not for the feeble minded. In this context, I believe there are two types of people; there are sheep and there are pirates. The way of the pirate offers a different approach to life than the one advocated …

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Life in the matrix

Life in the matrix

How do you choose to live your life? This is arguably the most important question of all; it defines the way your life will unfold itself and how you perceive it. Yet, people rarely think about it. Sure, they think about where to spend the next holiday, contemplate switching to a different job, or changing to a different brand of toothpaste, but on a deeper level? Sadly not so much. We often forget that we have in fact total freedom to live our lives. You are born and you will die. Those to facts are engraved in stone; the rest is basically up to you. There are limiting factors though. You don’t have to take them into account, but many …

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How to develop my masculinity

As long as I can remember, I’ve always been a man with a strong feminine side. I’m sensitive, compassionate, a good listener, even during gymnastics in kindergarten, when the boys and the girls where split per gender and the boys had to try and catch the girls, I remember standing up for the girls and protecting them from the boys. Most of my friends are women and I felt often ashamed by the actions and impulses of men in general. Using aggression when arguments fall short and using rape to get what – or who – you want. It made me feel bad being a man and occasionally I felt that I was judged on these assumptions by women about …

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