How to regain my sexual desire?

fixing my sexual desire

Last week, I wrote an article about how I had lost my way in sex. Things had become too complex, too many rules to follow, and the expectations I set for myself were too high. I was stuck. Funny enough, it felt terrible mostly before I accepted that. Afterwards, I felt mostly relief and a strong urge to find out how to regain my sexual desire. In this article, I will share what has helped me so far. First of all, sexuality is a topic I’ve been exploring a lot over the last two years. What I felt was that many of us, me included, often lost ourselves in a race towards sex. Sex was the goal in the game of intimacy …

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I’ve lost my way in sex

lost my way in sex

I remember sex as being something light, something playful. But somewhere along the way, it became complex, weird, and uneasy for me. I feel inadequate; it feels like hard work, like I’ve lost my edge. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I’ve lost my way in sex, and in a way, believe it or not, that is a good thing. For me, sex is essentially about having fun, about connecting, exploring, finding out how someone ticks, how the two (or more) of you connect. Sometimes about diving in an ocean of love, going under together. Other times, about letting your tiger come out to play, to snarl, devour, dominate and surrender. Hunting, biting, scratching, all in good fun. I was …

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The Key to True Happiness

key to true happiness

The other day, I was driving to the supermarket with my youngest daughter, aged three. On the way, there is a slight decent as the road crosses under the railway. To me, that’s just something that happens, nothing special. To her, it’s a completely different story. So, we were driving to the store, started going downhill and she immediately threw her arms up, stretched her legs and cried out of pure joy: “Wheeeee!”.  Her happiness was so contagious that I joined her on the way up, throwing my arms up and shouting out. It felt wonderful! Most times, expressing emotions feels like the complete opposite for me. Something happens, for instance, I take a bite of a mango with a magnificent …

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To you, my brother

To you, my brother

For years, I’ve neglected you, merely tolerated you, seen you as competition. Your strength made me feel inadequate and your weakness made me feel strong in comparison. When you connected with a girl, I felt jealous; it felt like I had lost something, even when I had never spoken to her, or liked her in the first place. I avoided you because you made me feel uncomfortable. Interacting this way with you, my brother, made me feel weak, alone and I compensated by seeking validation from others, mostly women. Seeking this approval didn’t help me, I know see it led me further from my core. Lately, I’ve started to see your value. For the first time in my life, I …

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Learning to connect without trying – the value of feeling lost

connect without trying

Since a month, a lot has been happening in my life. So much that I had trouble writing about it. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t get my mind around it. Where to start, what to tell, what is the message? Often, I like to write about a concept I’m starting to understand, but this time, there was no understanding. I was totally lost. Do you know the feeling of not knowing how to proceed? Knowing that whatever you believed was right, turned out to be not working and knowing you have to abandon the old way, without sight of a new, better way. Well, that was my position a few weeks ago. Everything I thought I knew about relating …

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Connecting with people: going all in

connecting with people

Sometimes you reach a breaking point; the moment you feel that what you’re doing is not working. I feel a breaking point at this moment in how I connect (or fail to connect) with others. It feels like everyone knows how to connect; how to bond, how to form a connection and to expand on it. For me, it feels like I’ve been trying and it doesn’t work. I feel stuck. For sure, I was missing something in connecting with people, and I couldn´t quite grasp what it is. Feeling lost is a great place to be For quite some time, I felt I wanted to form stronger connections with people. At the same time, I didn’t know how. It …

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Spiritual Mumbo Jumbo

Spiritual Mumbo Jumbo

Today was a good day. Today, I recognized and accepted the fact that I don’t like overly spiritual mumbo jumbo. I’m talking about terms like ‘his center of gravity got deeper’, I don’t get stuff like that, not getting it makes me uncomfortable, and it distracts me from the core of the point someone is trying to get across. Their point may be very profound, but very little of it actually makes it into my brain when I need to decipher what it is they are getting at. To be honest, it is not only spiritual mumbo jumbo that gets on my nerves. There is also a lot of mumbo jumbo in for instance business and management. I often get …

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Am I normal?

Am I normal?

Being normal is often regarded as something to strive for. We tell our kids to act normal like it is the best thing they can ever achieve. Therefore, many people ask themselves: am I normal? Pondering this question I wonder: what is this thing called normal and is it something we want to be? Society has a set of implicit rules; the norm, which help to show you how to behave and live your life; how to be normal and fit in with society. This makes life a lot easier, at least… in theory. But, have you ever met a normal person? Someone who is perfectly normal? When I try to imagine such a person, my mind remains a perfect …

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Floating in thin air

Here I am, trying to feel light and happy, while experiencing a heavy mood. Autumn is upon me. I feel foggy, damp, gloomy, cold. It feels like my leaves are slowly falling, leaving me bare. Generally, I am an optimistic person, but today, I’m not. And I’m slowly coming to terms with that. Accepting who you are and accepting your feelings, such beautiful terms. But sometimes it is so difficult. I want to share, I want to write. There is so much happening within and around me. And I do write, but it amounts to nothing. Empty phrases, powerful sentences, there is no conjunction. They keep floating in thin air, along with me. Instead of giving in to my desire: …

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Female Beauty – a Male Perspective

Female beauty

To most men, looking at women is one of their favorite pastimes and most will agree that women are one of the most beautiful things on earth. Then, how can it be that so many women have such a negative image of their looks? Western studies have reported numbers that are shocking to me: 3% of British women reported to be totally happy with their body. So out of a 100 women, 97 have something they are unhappy with. 80% of women reported that they were unhappy about their body and 60% said their body image made them feel depressed. So many women are obsessed about their looks and body. The more they change, the more obsessed they often become, …

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