How to regain my sexual desire?

fixing my sexual desire

Last week, I wrote an article about how I had lost my way in sex. Things had become too complex, too many rules to follow, and the expectations I set for myself were too high. I was stuck. Funny enough, it felt terrible mostly before I accepted that. Afterwards, I felt mostly relief and a strong urge to find out how to regain my sexual desire. In this article, I will share what has helped me so far. First of all, sexuality is a topic I’ve been exploring a lot over the last two years. What I felt was that many of us, me included, often lost ourselves in a race towards sex. Sex was the goal in the game of intimacy …

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I’ve lost my way in sex

lost my way in sex

I remember sex as being something light, something playful. But somewhere along the way, it became complex, weird, and uneasy for me. I feel inadequate; it feels like hard work, like I’ve lost my edge. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I’ve lost my way in sex, and in a way, believe it or not, that is a good thing. For me, sex is essentially about having fun, about connecting, exploring, finding out how someone ticks, how the two (or more) of you connect. Sometimes about diving in an ocean of love, going under together. Other times, about letting your tiger come out to play, to snarl, devour, dominate and surrender. Hunting, biting, scratching, all in good fun. I was …

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Learning to connect without trying – the value of feeling lost

connect without trying

Since a month, a lot has been happening in my life. So much that I had trouble writing about it. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t get my mind around it. Where to start, what to tell, what is the message? Often, I like to write about a concept I’m starting to understand, but this time, there was no understanding. I was totally lost. Do you know the feeling of not knowing how to proceed? Knowing that whatever you believed was right, turned out to be not working and knowing you have to abandon the old way, without sight of a new, better way. Well, that was my position a few weeks ago. Everything I thought I knew about relating …

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Connecting with people: going all in

connecting with people

Sometimes you reach a breaking point; the moment you feel that what you’re doing is not working. I feel a breaking point at this moment in how I connect (or fail to connect) with others. It feels like everyone knows how to connect; how to bond, how to form a connection and to expand on it. For me, it feels like I’ve been trying and it doesn’t work. I feel stuck. For sure, I was missing something in connecting with people, and I couldn´t quite grasp what it is. Feeling lost is a great place to be For quite some time, I felt I wanted to form stronger connections with people. At the same time, I didn’t know how. It …

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What kind of relationship do I want?

What kind of relationship do I want

A relationship is often a very important part of your life that may fill you with love and joy, or it may be a pit of despair that casts a shadow on your entire life. Therefore, it is very important to ask: what kind of relationship do I want? Yet, little people take the time and the courage to ask themselves freely: what do I want? What it is I don’t want? And what do I want to learn? For a while now, I’ve been searching what kind of relationship I want to be in. I have had wonderful experiences the last years and some of them served me and some didn’t. It is easy to lose yourselves in the patterns of …

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The Three Levels in Conscious Sex

conscious sex

I love sex; I love the ecstatic rush, the flowing feeling of deep and unconditional love, the animalistic lust, taking complete control, absolute surrender. I love it when two souls, two bodies – or more 😉 – connect and make such magic happen. However, because sex stirs up so many emotions and feelings, it can be a tricky subject. Take for instance the question when to have sex? With whom do you have sex? And for what reasons? These questions have been on my mind a lot over the last year, and I think I have found an answer. A hangover after great sex Over the last year, I have been focusing on intimacy a lot, becoming comfortable with touch with …

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Sex on the first date – why I don’t like to as a man

sex on the first date

One of the strongest public convictions that I’m aware of is that men like to have sex. Always, every time, at every chance they get. You often hear that men think about sex every seven seconds. Come again? That is over 500 times per hour! Is sex, or intercourse, the only thing men are interested in and do they always want to have sex on the first date (sex as in intercourse)? Well, no. I for one don’t like to. I’ll explain to you why. What I love about a new connection I love to connect with people. Best of all I like to explore a new, promising connection with someone I feel attracted to. Oh, the endless possibilities! It can go so many …

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Female Beauty – a Male Perspective

Female beauty

To most men, looking at women is one of their favorite pastimes and most will agree that women are one of the most beautiful things on earth. Then, how can it be that so many women have such a negative image of their looks? Western studies have reported numbers that are shocking to me: 3% of British women reported to be totally happy with their body. So out of a 100 women, 97 have something they are unhappy with. 80% of women reported that they were unhappy about their body and 60% said their body image made them feel depressed. So many women are obsessed about their looks and body. The more they change, the more obsessed they often become, …

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There is always a different side to someone

different side to someone

You have just met someone new and he seems to be the most wonderful/awful guy in the world. You spoke for only a few minutes, but you could tell how confident/anxious he is, it was so inspiring/tiring! We have very acurate senses that help us to determine who someone is and how he makes us feel. We unconsciously label someone after a first impression, and this label often sticks, as our mind wants to create clarity. We see only black and white, where reality is gray. The guy that you met and who seemed to be wonderful might have seemed to be an awful person at first sight if you had met him one week later. We fall in love …

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